Love And Money: Should Unmarried Couples Disclose Their Salaries To Each Other?5 min read
Financial matters are pretty much a taboo subject—but should you be more open to your significant other, right?
It’s no surprise that Filipinos shy
In the Filipino society, openly talking about your finances can be taken as a sign of gloating—and you don’t want bad blood between you and other people because of a few zeroes.
If it’s fraught enough to disclose financial matters to friends and family members, it’s a whole new level to discuss financial matters with your significant other. It’s time to ask the age-old question: should you disclose your salary to your partner?
A matter of financial literacy
Apparently, it’s offensive to ask your partner “how much do you make?”
We have to admit that it’s easier to talk to our SO about politics or sex more than finances. After all, bringing up such topics can lead to comparison of finances and worse, a spat between both parties. With a lot of things at stake, having an open and honest conversation about finances can be much more difficult.
Whether it’s talking about our finances to our partners or even in general, one of the biggest reasons why Filipinos are having a hard time approaching this subject is the unsurprisingly low level of financial literacy in the country. Because of this, individuals have a difficulty talking about their financial goals as well as problems, which can lead to several bad money decisions down the line.
(Read: 10 Financial Questions You Should Ask Your Soon-To-Be Spouse)
A World Bank
In addition to poor financial education in the country in our educational institutions, learning about the basics of financial management is also absent at home. According to the central bank, people who have shown aptitude in various money skills like tracking their expenses and saving during their formative years are more likely to become fiscally responsible in their adult years.
These factors combined, along with
A private matter
Needless to say, it’s complicated.
We talked to Jeanne, a 31-year-old senior data analyst from Pasig City, about how she and her partner have navigated financial topics in their seven-year relationship.
Despite being together already for seven years, she said that some topics are still left untouched between them—with their salaries one of those hot potatoes they want to avoid. However, it’s not just them avoiding the topic altogether.
“Since I want to make long-term plans
“Even if he doesn’t tell me his salary right now, I am confident with his financial standing since he’s more conservative than me in terms of spending, going out for dinners, and travels.”
At first, Jeanne was also pretty reluctant
The bare market
Apparently, experts found out there’s a right time and place to be more confident in telling your partner about your salary.
In her book Getting Financially Naked, financial guru Manisha Thakor believes that at some point, you must have “the talk” about your salary—or any money matters, for that matter—with your partner. Although it shouldn’t be as ceremonial as popping the question, having the confidence to disclose your salary to your partner will serve as an important milestone for the both of you.
“We believe the earlier the better.
(Read: Financial Infidelity: The Hidden Third Party in Most Marriages)
“Our point is simply that once you can see yourself getting serious with your potential mate, we believe it’s time to start talking about money. As to the exact timing, again, it really is up to the unique nature of your particular relationship.”
But what if your partner doesn’t want
“A cold shoulder does not mean it’s okay
Whether or not you believe that money
Other sources: The Guardian